My Own Personal Hell
by OhSoFancy
Summary: After Bella's dad dies, she goes into a depression. She only trusts her friend Alice and her new guardians force her into therapy sessions with Dr. Mason who knows things she hasn't told anyone. About the same time she begins getting stalked. Coincidence?
1. Chapter 1

My dad died a year, seven months, and eleven days ago. Thought that would be a good way to get the shit out there. Just say the worst and then go into the easy stuff. Oh, did I mention my name was Bella Swan? And if I hear Isabella leaving your mouth and referring to me you'll get your ass kicked. Just to put it out there, ya know? Just like I said I would, and I plan to commit to the shit.

So where was I? Oh right.. my dad. He was probably my best friend. He raised me all by himself since my mom bailed and went God only knows where when I was eight. Charlie did a good job, though. Gotta give the guy some props. He didn't even complain once either; just said everything would happen for a reason.

After he.. passed.. I kinda went into this depression, I guess you could say. In my defense though, if the man you looked up to since birth died suddenly and you were sent off to live with a nice enough couple, but people you don't know or want to get to know, wouldn't you be upset?

Here I am living with Sue and Harry Clearwater. Don't get me wrong; they're great people. Anyone who can give a home to some kid they hardly know is alright in my book.. just wish I didn't have to be here. I know they worry about me, because they put me into therapy. Yep. Therapy. Starting next week and continuing on every Thursday. Unfortunately for me I don't exactly wanna spill my guts to some stranger when I won't even open up to my best friend, Alice.

"Bella, it's time to leave for your appointment with Dr. Mason," Sue said as she poked her head in my room.

I shook my head, grabbed my cell phone, and stalked out the door. As I sat in the passenger seat on the way to my first therapy session, I thought it'd be a good time to text Alice and blow off some steam.

_Fuck, Ali. Please tell me I'm not about to see a shrink._

_B._

It didn't take long to get an answer. It never took long. Ever since I moved in with the Clearwaters Alice was always there when I needed her. She didn't even complain when I went to her house, unexpectedly, at three in the morning just because I had a nightmare.

_I'm sorry. Maybe it won't be too bad. You should come over after? /:_

_-A._

I tucked my phone in my back pocket as the car pulled into the parking lot. Taking a deep breath and waiting a long time before letting it out, I slowly walked behind Sue and into the waiting room.

It was one of those places that were so quiet that you wanted to jump out the window and hope it'd all be over quick. There were a few people there, but of course none of them said a word. Some stared at the wall, some read magazines. Don't even get me started on the receptionist who looked completely out of place with her brightly colored clothes and perky attitude.

"Bella?" said a tall man with brownish, copper tinted hair walking out of a door that lead down a long hallway with many other doorways. His eyes scanned the room until they landed on me which was most certainly unnerving seeing as to how I never raised my hand or gave any type of indication that I was the Bella he was asking for. I'm assuming it's Dr. Mason… he must have seen a picture of me or something that could have been in a file of mine. Either that or he was some kind of psychic.. which I highly doubt.

"She's right here," Sue said awkwardly since I definitely wasn't about to stand the fuck up and march over to him. I didn't even wanna be there in the first place.

"If you could follow me back to my office, please." He gave me a reassuring smile, but it still didn't erase any unease I felt.

His office was alright I guess. It was an average sized room with neutral colors, no personal items like pictures of family, a computer, and some filing cabinets. Nothing remotely interesting.

"So Bella I like to keep it casual with my patients, I'd like it if you'd call me Edward." _Patients._ That's what I was; his _patient._ Well if I didn't feel like some mental nut case before I certainly did then.

I just grunted. It's not like he asked a question so it's not like he needed an answer.

"I understand you're here because your guardians are concerned with your well being. They claim you're depressed. Do you agree with that?"

"Hmph. No."

"Alright then. Well why do you think they would feel this way?"

"I dunno."

"Has something made you upset?"

"No."

"Do you think that you should be here?"

"No."

"And why is that?"

He continued on with his questions, scribbling things down in a notebook. I gave him short answers, but he kept a poker face and didn't show if I was annoying him or not by hardly talking.

"Has anything happened recently that would be upsetting in any sort of way to you?"

"Yea."

He gave me a soft smile and asked me to "elaborate on what could have made me upset".

"My dad died a year ago."

"I'm very sorry to here that.."

"Me too," I snorted. Like I hadn't heard that so many times before.

"How have you been coping with his murder?"

I paused and stared at him before answering about thirty seconds of him staring me down expectantly with his piercing green gaze.

"I never told you he was murdered," I whispered, in shock. The Clearwaters most certainly didn't even know this. Only Alice knew… and I hadn't even given her the details yet. It was always to hard to talk about.

"I think our time for today is up. I'll see you next week. Have a night day, Bella." He said, abruptly looking at the clock.

I shrugged and got up, not really caring.

It really wasn't until I got into my room and started thinking about our conversation, that I began to grow concerned about him knowing my father was murdered. I had only told him he had died. Perhaps he got a hold of the police files.

Alright. Soooo this is my first chapter of my first fanfiction. Is it worth continuing? Leave me a review letting me know! [:


	2. Chapter 2

It was Thursday afternoon and I was walking home from school when I felt a chill run down my spine. You know that feeling you get when you think someone's following you? Well I got the distinct feeling of being watched. I stopped in my tracks and held my breath, not entirely sure that I wanted to turn around and figure out if my suspicions were correct. I inhaled deeply and continued walking.

About five minutes later when I was just turning onto my street I heard faint footsteps. I looked behind me and saw a woman who looked like she was in her early forties walking her dog. I turned back around shaking my head. I was really paranoid after my father died. I had so many nightmares and I was always restless.

"Sue? Harry? I'm home," I called, stepping over the threshold.

"Bella, sweetie! Do you have any homework to do tonight?"

"Yea, Sue… I have to start my English essay, but it's not due for another eight days."

"Alright, well get it started and after dinner we'll leave for your therapy appointment."

I sighed. I wondered if I'd get used to the thought of being stuck in therapy sessions once every week. Probably not.

Dr. Mason was definitely not someone I would have chosen to be my therapist if I got to pick for myself. There was just something off about him and the way he stared at me with his piercing gaze. It was very unnerving. It was like everything I did, every move I made, he picked apart and stored into his mind. I didn't like the way he closely analyzed the things I said. Maybe I was overreacting because I didn't wanna be there. Who knows?

(Later on during the therapy session)

"How was school for you this week, Bella?"

"It was fine, Dr. Mason. Same as always."

"Did you have any nightmares recently?"

"Um, a few."

"Would you like to share with me what they were about?"

"Not exactly?"

"You know if you talk about a dream, you're very unlikely to have the same one again," he stared into my eyes intently.

"That's… interesting. I'll remember that."

"You really don't wanna tell me?"

"No."

"Were they that bad?"

"Not too bad," I shook my head, annoyed. You'd think he would've given up when I chose not to answer him the first twenty times.

"Surely they were bad enough to make you go to your friend's house in the middle of the night."

My breath caught in my throat, and my hands began to shake.

"With all due respect Dr. Mason I have absolutely no idea how you would know anything about that…"

His eyes darted around the room nervously before he answered, "Mrs. Clearwater told me about it."

I looked at the time on my cell phone. Our session was done for the week and I couldn't have been happier to leave. I walked out the door letting him get away with his answer even though I clearly knew with everything in me that Sue had no idea whatsoever that I went to Alice's house during the nights that I had bad dreams.


End file.
